I Have Reached My Boiling Point

Yesterday I came across an article.  It started because I was wondering how voting for the Restroom Access Act, aka Ally’s Law, went in Virginia.  I looked it up online.  I was appalled at what I had found.  The act was defeated without a single vote cast.  That means that every politician that had the right to vote on it agreed that it wasn’t worth their time to even discuss.  I was outraged by this but was soon about to get even more pissed off.

Continuing my research I found and editorial written for a Virginian newspaper.  It was written by Kerry Dougherty and can be found here.  Please go read it.  I will wait until you finish reading it.



So you finished it.  I can see how red your face is.  I guess she made you as mad as I have been for the past 18 hours.  How can someone be so ignorant not only to people with IBD but to me it seems like she is against anyone with a disability.

But lets break down some of what she had to say.  First, she writes, “And it marked the death of one more over-the-top, well-meaning measure cooked up by a Northern Virginia Democrat. Another bill that would have attempted to legislate common sense.”  – First, does it matter if the person introducing the bill is a Democrat or Republican.  What just because a Democrat introduces something it is immediately bad?  Next, a bill that would attempted to legislate common sense.  Yes, it is common sense and yet it is ignored.  Why do we have to fight to use the bathroom.  IT IS COMMON SENSE and yet people will still not let you use their bathrooms so yes we should have a law.

“The impetus was an Alexandria teenager who was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease about two years ago. After being barred from the employee-only bathroom in several retail stores, he told his mom he wanted a state law that would make it illegal to turn away someone with a legit medical condition.”  Man, this just shows the author didn’t do her homework.  HE TOLD HIS MOM—-Ally is a woman, not a man.  I have spoken with her and she is amazing.  Follow Ally here on Twitter.  See, she is a woman.

“If only adults or civics teachers would teach kids that there are better ways to fix problems.” – Um, Ally found a problem and is fighting for the government to back her in her fight against injustice.  What better way is there to fix the problem?  I would love the author to suggest just one way.

Lastly, the author goes on to tell a story of how she was in a nail salon one day.  A woman came in to the place, looking like she was in an emergency and asked to use the bathroom.  Afterwards it turns out she stole some wallets.  So, now everyone with IBD is being compared to thieves and criminals.  None of us can be trusted.  WOW!

I have seen a lot of prejudice in my life.  I have seen discrimination.  I have seen bigotry.  This editorial takes the cake though.  Just weeks ago the CCFA launched a campaign which so many of us agreed was way to light.  It showed that we mainly use the bathroom and that there are no other problems.  Maybe if they had used a more aggressive campaign, Kerry would have a better understanding of what we go through every day of our lives.  I won’t get into it as that is a whole other post.  But Kerry’s ignorance shows the need for more awareness.  IBD is still mostly unknown.  People think we are making up our symptoms. 

Shame on you Kerry.  Shame shame shame.

14 comments on “I Have Reached My Boiling Point

  1. Wow! I am glad people are (not so nicely) commenting on Kerry’s article. I agree her article is horrendous and should have never been published – especially since she got the main facts wrong! Thank you for posting this and brining it to my attention.

  2. Yep, woman’s an idiot. The problem is really a lack of public toilets. You can’t use a toilet in a business, yet here you stand in a public-toiletless wasteland, desperately needing to go. And you’re not legally allowed to use the gutter. Sorry to be graphic but I feel this is just another example of how government isn’t actually concerned about real people.

  3. Sarah says:

    And not to mention she says, “And the best thing Crohn’s sufferers could do would be to launch a public relations campaign to raise awareness.”
    She should be making herself aware of IBD before making quick judgements about these issues. She should be using her “power” as a writer to benefit all and help raise awareness.

  4. ibsimpact says:

    Also, the Restroom Access Act is not just for those with IBD. It also would help people with irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), ostomies, interstitial cystitis (a painful bladder condition that often overlaps with IBS), people whose medical conditions or medications that cause them to urinate more than average (many people on heart or high blood pressure meds, poorly controlled diabetes, etc.) and other conditions that collectively affect tens of millions of people. (IBS alone is estimated to affect 30-60 million, although not all have serious, chronic urgency.) This is not about special rights for a few. It’s about human dignity and compassion and the practical matter of not having people lose control on your floor because they have about 15 seconds and simply cannot “hold it.” If they could, they wouldn’t be asking to use an employee-only restroom in the first place.

    • I actually agree. The Restroom Access Act would affect so many more people than just those with IBD. It is more of a medical Act than anything. Growing up in NYC is disgusts me how so many people can not care about the most basic human need.

  5. It Was A Boy Not Ally says:

    While the Restroom Access Act was originally proposed by Ally, you are incorrect. The bill was indeed proposed to Mr. Krupicka by a teenage boy. And the reason I know this is because I am the kid who did it. So while I do appreciate your blog, and 100% agree that Kerry was wrong, she was right about that.

    • I do apologize. I didn’t realize you convinced Mr. Krupicka to bring up the bill. I think you are amazing for doing this and for standing up for both yourself and others. You are going to do great in life and just because we all lost this battle, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t give up. Keep fighting the fight. You have a lot of people behind you.

      • That Kid says:

        Thank you very much sir, I appreciate the support! I will be sure to get in touch with you somehow when we do something else. While I have spoken to Ally only briefly, I hope that once we collaborate our efforts, and with the support of the large Crohn’s and Colitis community we can get things done. While I am not sure we will have the support in politics for the Restroom Access Law, there is plenty of other work, such as fundraising and awareness.

        I also read your article on the Escape The Stall ads, and while I don’t think theres much we can change now, I think your take on how we need to have Ads with much more impact is a brilliant idea!

  6. proud mom says:

    I am the mother of the Alexandria, VA teenager who approached Del. Krupicka about proposing this law. Jacob had met Ally last May at a CCFA event. After his unfortunate experience, Ally was his inspiration. I have no respect for how Ms. Dougherty handled this matter and what she wrote, but I am very proud of my son for bravely addressing this matter with a state delegate and testifying (albeit unsuccessfully) in front of the subcommittee.

    • I am very proud also of Jacob. I wasn’t aware he brought it to Mr. Krupicka so I apologize for that. Normally I would research something like that before I write it but Ms. Dougherty had me steaming mad.

      With that said, I think you have an amazing son who is going to do great things. So many people won’t stand up for themselves or others these days. IBD needs so much advocating for and he is on his way to doing great things. I think he shouldn’t give up though and should try again, and again, and keep going until he wins. So many of us are fighting for basic human rights right now that just know he has a big community behind him.

  7. Perd says:

    It’s frustrating to see that most here – and the commenters on the article – completely miss the point. A business owner has a RIGHT to determine who uses THEIR bathroom facilities. Period.

    Personally, I think a business owner would be a jerk to turn away someone who is suffering, but in a free country I don’t have a right to effectively put a gun to his head and force him to not be a jerk.

    How far does this logic go? People don’t only have emergencies in business districts. Suppose someone has an emergency in a residential area? Should we pass a law that forces ordinary citizens to let strangers into their homes to use the toilet? If not, why not?

    The point is that in a free country government is not the answer to every problem. The author of the article could certainly have used a nicer tone, but she does make a valid point that a legitimate solution would be to educate businesses and the public about conditions like Crohn’s and IBS.

  8. Julie says:

    I was officially diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease in 1990. I am at the end stages of the disease. One of my doctors has twice informed me to go home to get my affairs in order (you can figure out why). I rarely go out in pubic, because I now have no (or very little warning) when it’s time to seek a restroom. There are many times when on my way to the restroom (even at home), accidents happen, frequently! I’ve often considered handing over my soiled under garments to the business owner or just stand beside them smell and all!! But how can we expect restrooms from the same business owners who won’t even call the police on the non-handicap vehicles parked in their handicap parking spaces.

  9. It’s interesting to see this on your blog! I’m happy so many people have seen it. I made a very civil but to the point comment to her on Twitter. She never responded; however, two other men did, one in particular wouldn’t let it go. He was a total jerk….totally attacked me and pushed for an argument! He even went through all of my tweets and found other things to criticize related that was not IBD related! Despite all of this, the best part is that the story was removed 🙂

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