Day 26 #NHBPM – Why I decided to leave an online community


This was a tough decision I made.  I still go there sometimes but overall, I just ignore the site.  My decision to leave was tough and a sad one. 

I had been going to HealingWell.com for a couple of years.  It was one of the first online forum places I found and joined in regularly.  It is a place where they have boards for all sorts of conditions and of course I posted in the Crohn’s Forum.  I had gotten some great advice over the years and was able to help others as well.

I had always felt like I could be open and honest there.  In turn, I met some great people who really needed some help and support there.  The site was also regularly monitored so if anything got out of hand, it was corrected pretty fast.  Abusive people were closed out and topics that were banned were deleted fast if they were brought up.

So why did I leave if it was such a great place?  Well, to put it simply…it WAS a good place.  I no longer feel it is.  About  two years ago, a lot changed in the forums.  First people in there seemed to be more abusive.  Some of the posters seemed to pick on others.  They would push their “cure all” advice and never accept other opinions.  The Mods (moderators) tried to curtail these posters, but the owner of the site seemed to not care what was going on and didn’t stand behind the Mods to well.  Eventually these bad posters would start verbally attack other members.  I was so horrified by this.  We all have the same disease and we are attacking each other instead of helping.  WTF!

The final straw came when some of the Mods, who I had gotten to know and were truly great helpful people, were let go and replaced.  They weren’t even really told why.  When this came to light in the room…all hell broke loose.  The room was divided into two factions..those for the now former Mods and the abusive people.

The board used to be a loving caring place to talk open and honestly.  It fast turned into an abusive not caring advertising board.  This was not going to work for me.   I was sad to leave it because I had gotten to know a bunch of the people on there and was going to miss them.

Luckily, the best people from the board started a closed group on Facebook and I was lucky enough to be invited …. yeah!  So now I can still talk to them, help them out, be helped out and just enjoy their company without the abuse.  The more I stayed away from the site, the better I feel and the feelings I had towards the site has left me also.

Do I ever regret leaving that community….never.  I felt like I had to make a stand to make a point and I feel I chose well.  Now I won’t lie…..I have been back a couple of times to check it out, but I hardly go back anymore.  It just isn’t the same place as when I joined up.  I have since found other great place to go and other wonderful people to talk to (you all know who you are).

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One comment on “Day 26 #NHBPM – Why I decided to leave an online community

  1. Lorraine says:

    You’re absolutely right it’s not the same place it was when I found it 8 years ago. Actually it seemed to go way down hill after Peter’s CD diagnosis was switched to IBS. I do go back once a week or so, but it’s not welcoming any longer. I’ve found a couple of other forums I post on now.

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